Wednesday, June 4, 2014


I don't feel accomplished at all.

I feel stupid.

I have problems. We all have problems. Nothing new there.

I have exams. The very final one. 

The best thing that happened to me in final year was the formation of my study group.

Sure enough everyone of the accomplished doctors I have met, always remind me to do 'group studies'. Until I hadn't formed mine, I thought it the phrase was a clever oxymoron. Group and studying? Most of the people are perpetually trying to hide how much they study. 

So, how can a people join in a group and admit to studying and study together?

I have all the MCQ question banks. My friend Akanksha Singh has all the DAMS coaching books from her earlier coaching days. I had been solving several MCQs again and again but it was getting me nowhere because I was always lacking some more material. And so was that in her case.

We decided to exchange books. A book for a book. Nothing more, nothing less. 

In final year, I have sat on the very first row, but the corner most everyday! From the back most row I have progressed to the front row. And then came Akanksha from her back row to the front. 

That's our spot in class. Away from the glare of the lecturers, but just in range not to be missed. Having her next to me and she was equally and more enthusiastic than me in acquiring medical gyan, so we began to exchange whatever we knew.

Reinforcing each others missed observation. Letting her know of what I know and she did the same too. We needed to have a larger group.

And we did.

We have been studying together. Few hours everyday. Had it not been for the group, I swear I would right now be lying on the floor crying about not finishing the course in time.

I still feel stupid though. 

Other than that, I have become a sensible shopper now. 
I am poor. I don't earn yet. 

And when I actually begin to earn once my internship starts, its never going to be sufficient for whatever I desire. Ah, those clothes one doesn't really need!

I feel at peace. Still stupid.

peace- dr. Diksha.

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