Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Anger Management:

I am angry and I don't know why!
I am not boasting but I have this reputation of being the coolest head among all of the friend circles I belong to.
But I am angry now and I don't even know why exactly.
I have scheduled plan to finish reading my text book. It doesn't go with the timeline however. And I find myself lagging behind by few pages a day and in a week I am late by a whole big chapter. 

I just had dinner. I was sitting across a fellow dental student of my batch. I am eating from my plate and drop drop- tiny drops of pulses fall on my plate from that sloppy girl. I don't know. I could have been more forgiving. But I cursed in my mind. I pictured myself slamming the food on her face hard and finishing her up by whacking her hard on the head. I didn't smile. She apologized. A voice in my mind said "Bloody sloppy girl!"

A few days ago I screamed at my friend. I don't know but I lost it. I have lost my fluidity. My ability to coax someone into smiling and pacifying the situation is there no more. Instead if I face some uncanny situations I retaliate at it and show out my angst and I want to scream and shout and make everyone around feel bad. I have got to get a grip over myself.

So first thing first I am going to keep studying everyday even if I lack behind my planned schedule.  I am so going to nail "Robbins and Cotrans- Pathology" and I am so going to remember the classifications of all the medical drugs. Then I am going to scream less and smile a little more. 

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